Question: I blame myself for many things. How can I avoid this?
by Khenpo Tashi
All negative emotions share something similar. In Buddhism, they are products of past negative causes. Ultimately, they are from one’s habitual self-grasping. Self-grasping manifests differently for different people, for others, excessive arrogance, for others, anger and so on.
When we practice Buddhism, we balance between patience, diligence, trust and rest.
We need to treat our emotions with patience. We need to be diligent, but also be relaxed while improving.
Making mistakes in Buddhist practice is always there. We use the word lab ja (Tibetan). Lab-ja means training. It is a training, when practicing Buddhism or following one’s Buddhist vows.
When we trained to walk or write for the first time, did we do it perfectly immediately? No.
Similarly, Buddhist practice involves making mistakes and trying again. That is balance between diligence and patience.
Then, there is trust. Since the basic motivation of Buddhist practice is to weaken the emotions, we must trust that the emotions can be weakened.
Lastly, there is rest. Because Buddhism is a long-term endeavor. So, everyday, we do a little practice. Then, we rest. Then, tomorrow, we do again, not expecting quick results, and rest.
Then, when we look back from where we started, we will see that our emotions are gradually weaker, our minds are more at peace and stable. It is a long-term practice.