Problems start when we are still happy.
by Khenpo Tashi
For example, attraction between a man and woman. At first, even for ten seconds, they cannot think of being separate from each other. Then, one month later, there is a slight change in thinking. Then, a year or two later, wow, sometimes there is hating and disliking between them. Maybe a little bored with each other also.
One time, when I went to the mall, I observed a young couple. The boy was comforting the girl, who is crying and sad. The girl wants to go somewhere, but the boy keeps on giving reasons to go the other way.
Then, I think, the girl was hurt, a little crying. So after some time, the boy agreed with the girl but he was not happy. He followed the girl, and they walked where the girl wanted to go.
But he walked slightly another way, because he could not directly follow the girl’s wishes. More like his pride, he wanted to keep something for himself.
At the end, both of them were not happy. Where did the problem come from?
Another example. A girl and a boy are sitting on the bench, very close together, touching and hugging. They are very happy, saying, “I need you. I cannot live without you.” Actually, they both feel very great at that time. But, at that same time, they are already sowing the seed of suffering between them.
After some time, they will fight, or feel jealous, or feel attached, sad and missing the other person. At that time, the ‘seed of suffering’ has already become a tree. The suffering has spread, like the spreading branches of the tree.
Where did the misery come from? — From the moment when they were first hugging and loving each other.
That time when they were hugging, touching each other, being close, and they said, “I need you. I can’t live without you.” Actually, saying that makes the other person feel good. But the person who said it, he is already sowing the seed of “self-clinging” there. “I need you… for myself, my happiness, my pleasure.”
So, the things that make us, Samsaric beings, happy, they are actually the beginning of our misery also. That is contradictory. As we chase what we call ‘happiness’, at the same time, we are also inviting our misery to come later to us.
That is why our sufferings never stop. (READ: The Human Condition That We Are In)